love you in slow motion--Karina Pasian

i know that you've been calling me

and im happy that we met

dont think that im not interested

im just playing hard to get



so much about this crazy game they call love

that im trying to understand

so could you be my bestfriend

before you call yourself my man



why cant i love you in slow motion

take my time

take away the pressure on my mind

really get to know you

in rewind

wana love you in slow motion

why cant i?



you seem to know just want you want

and i like your confidence

somethings a girl should never rush

cause if you do you hurt yourself



so much about this crazy game they call love

im still trying to understand

so would you be my bestfried

before you call yourself

my man



why cant i love you in slow motion

take my time

take away the pressure on my mind

really get to know you in rewind

i wana love you in slow motion



why can't i?

im too young for tears in the night

and its to soon for things to be right

dont wana mess with your pride

the questions not when but why

FINALS

I can honestly say this is when i begin to hate school the most. When it comes down to the finals, and the tests, and the papers i have to finish. That somehow happen to be due all on the same day. I guess it doesnt help that i only have class two days out of the week, but geez i am so ready to be done with this. I am a junior and i know i need to just suck it up but i cant do it without complaining. Gosh mam, I just want it to be over, I want to graduate so that i am able to get into my career, and just do something i love. but i know education is what i need. So i will just comlain now, and rejoice in the end. UGGGGHHHHH FINALS....

Victim of abuse

I wish she would understand that she can do so much better, that she realizes he doesnt love her if he puts his hands on her. I wish she would understand that he is not being faithful, and that what she thinks is hers, is really the worlds. I wish she would understand the lies that he tells her and the bullshit he feeds. Why wont she understand? Is it love that will make you stay in a relationship when you have to come to school and work with black eyes? Is it love to have a man make you go thru things you cant take back, babies he refuses u to keep? Nah thats not love. Hell she will admit that she doesnt love him, so then why stay? Is it out of fear? Then i would make sure i have one hell of a right hook, and a kick to make his eyes water. Then go to the priesent and make it known that I dont want to be bothered. But Why cant she see that? Why is she still holding on to something thats physically, emotionally, and mentally killing her? I dont know why. I know that i am worth so much more, but God i dont know how to start. I am a victim of abuse, and until i face the truth, I shall and will continue to be the victim of abuse.

I am you and you are me and we are love--by Timothy Gladden

A poem my friend wrote: Its one of my favorites enjoy....


I am you…You are me…And we are Love…I gaze in the hazel of your eyes…The beauty makes mine flow cries,You are what god has made you to be…I see to the to the meat of my epiphany,The Daughter of my Father, My moon… my sun you’ve become,I share air in this Jungle of a life before my life comes undone,I protect every hair before I care for my beating heart inside,No lie though I try to will, to continue on to fly,Farwell to the aftermath of the emotions left on the Table…I loved once before…I am still willing still able…My life reads non-fiction no tall tales No fables…My heart has been exonerated my mind has been enabled…So for you the Son of My mother…Its true this moment my Brother…That I am you and you are me…Happiness we seek…Love I see,I lay down personal interest to enhance this feeling of knowing you…I bleed to what I believe on knees praying it to be true…All the life lessons Ive learned I watched, fallen short and understand,I wasn’t meant to know future of my life, but to live the best I can,So the Kin of my bloodline, my cousin to my proud heritage,I feel so I want…have hope… so you can know it is,Not in present form made from the sands of this Land…You are always with me side by side…hand in Hand…What my soul has always desired…to intern emotions thus hate to retire,For you are me…thus I am you…My first home…you are my birthplace,The giver of my life so to the explanation…I step n’ retrace…To be learned as you taught me… Instructed as a father should hope,Your Rod vacated to my flesh…the love from it helped me cope,I was blessed to have eyes so with them the less fortunate I admire,Though life has dealt a crushing blow…they resolve passion with fire,That is why…you are me and I am you for we…are children of him…A Hustler in the struggle I respect…lest the great dream fall dim,I can perceive what you feel though your hearts not in my chest…You are my Lover…you are my friend…you have put doubts to rest,For she is near is my feeling…My complimentary half…my blessing…A ring, A vow, anticipate the best...then proceed to start dressing,Bring your hopes bring you dreams….We will have Love over finer things…Grab your desires, move you heart…We equal forever Nows equals the Start…I have found happiness through the spirits of my children…Though never have I bore any…I am hooked on the feeling,I engage Joy in the eyes of my nephew, peace with the soul of my niece,I am them…they are me…So Love is on the increase,Thus my spirit below is rich with emotion…for I was designed from above,As I am…though I am you…you are me…and we are LOVE!!!

Accusations

you know the saying when you ACCUSE you make and ASS out of you? Well please believe that statement is more truthful then one would ever know. Its sad when a someone that doesnt like you accuses you of something, but its even sadder when its your friend accusing you. So im watchin the hills, and Audrina has accused her friend Lauren of sleeping with her boyfriend. im sorry but that has to be the most RIDICULOUS thing i have ever heard. What kind of friend would even question that to another? Makes me think Audrina never trusted her in the beginning. And to me thats not a friendship worth keeping if someone is not going to trust you, or even stand up to you with bullshit like that. Maybe thats just me, however i know if it was me i would be pissed, and not so quick to befriend that person, thats hurtful and down right wrong. So comment...and tell me what you think...shoudl Lauren forgive Audrina??? Or move on from her...

Taking a stand

I have made a decision. I will no longer let "Others" determine how i will live my life. As some of you may know i got in a BIG fight with one of my closest friends and we have decided we were not going to remain friends anymore! I was a little upset but then i realized that it was all worth it. I will not lower my standards to " chase after you and be your friend" God really spoke to me this entire week and i am going to share with you what has been said. I can no longer continue to play "games" with people that are not trying to serve the God i serve. I am THROUGH living like a heathen, and doing things i know a "child of God should not be doing" Some of us at Liberty came from a home where we know about God. Then we come to school and make excuses like" man...i been in church my whole life...and no one or anything can force religion on me" Although this is true...its STUPID. God should be the ultimate head of your life. No BOY or GIRL, no matter what the relationship is should come between that. God said that I am his! and i am truly standing on that word! Romans 12:2 says to not be of this world but to be transformed by the renewing of your mind to prove what is good acceptable and perfect will of God. This is my favorite scripture and it has a lot of truth in it. Just because we are in this world, does not mean we have to be of it. Its about time that i start being of this world and not in it. I have CHANGED...and though i know it will not be overnight, i am striving to be what God wants me to be. He has a plan for my life and i know it is about to come to pass. Liberty is not the school that i have my heart set on, but while being here i have learned that God and only God will get the glory out of anything i do! So i am DONE. I am done feeling like i have no one in my corner because i got GOD; i am done acting like my mama raised a "heathen" because GOD said that i am more than a conquerer; And i am praying for those of you that read this. I hope you decide to take a stand like i did. "what is it worth to gain the whole world, and lose your soul?'' So forgive me if i come back to school and do act a different way. I am focusing on GOD and only GOD! No longer does your opinion about me matters...because i am here on this earth and at Liberty to do one thing and that is please GOD. I will continue to love, and i will love harder, and i will continue to keep yall in prayer, just as i hope you do for me.

Every once in awhile i want to give yall a taste of what i been feeling, so i decide to pick a song thats out and sing it. And today is Keri Hilsons turn. her kind of new single Energy, has been a hit, and i have to sing it, only because im at that point in my life, and relationship where this LOVE is taking all of my ENERGY!!! So i was singing it to get some release, nothing really to do much over, just sharing my feelings.

11/25/2008

I can honestly say this day came sooner than i expected. Today i am 20 years old, and although some of you may look at me and say THATS IT??? yes thats it. I have just turned 20. Its so hard to believe because i feel like just yeaterday i was turning 10. But wow does time pass. I am so thankful that my mother decided to have me. you see, I wasnt suppose to live. The doctors told my mother to get an abortion, because i would have came out deformed and not a normal child. but my mother prayed, and prayed, and prayed and gave birth to a beautiful 7 lbs 6 ouz 21 inches long baby girl. I was a little yellow i must admit, but i had all my fingers and toes, something doctors said wouldnt happen. my mom said 2 weeks before i was born i did not move at all. so who knows what was going on in there, but God had a purpose. I came on my due date, and ruined my mom's thanksgiving dinner at the table, when she didnt want to tell anyone her water broke, but it was my grandma who felt the warm water hit her leg, and made my mom have to go to the doctor...MY MA LOVES HER FOOD. however im still glad, glad that i have breath in my body, glad that i have all my limbs, and hey im pretty cute too...IM 20...YAAAYYYY ME....

Beyonce has Sasha and I have TiMoGi

Lisa has left eye

beyonce has Sasha

and i have TiMoGi!i

know that it sounds weird, but this is all my names combined, which creates who i am when i sing. When you meet me in person, i may come off as a bit standoffish but truthfully im not. I can be very quiet at times, then i can get real loud. but i am never the same as when i sing. Something comes over me that i cant control, and i not only turn into a singer, i PERFORM as well... I have learned that i love to entertain, and put on a show. i love to act like im in a movie, or live show infront of an audience of a thousand, when in actuality im in my own room, shower or bthroom. I love to show of my skills, and see how versitile i can be, i may even jump around, to see if i am capable of singing live, when i am dancing and out of breath. Yup thats the TiMoGi side of me. I love that side, because people dont expect it from me, when they meet me they think im shy in quiet, but when they hear this big voice come out of me, they are like WOW where did that come from? and it makes me feel good. So its just a trademark i use. TiMoGi is my name...DONT WEAR IT OUT!!!LOL corny i know, but i thought i would try

God is Good

Just when you are about to give up,
start to rely on Godm im serious
believe that he can and will bring you out of anything your going through
and he would never put more on you than you can bare.
God is the creater of all things, and i am really glad i was introduced to him at a young age
because my relationship with him has been nothing but glorious
I must admit, i am not a perfect christain
but then again who is?
however everytime i fall, he is already there to pick me up
He never leaves me nor forsakes me
what a wonderful God...So if you dont know him and you want to get to...let a sista know, cuz i sure wouldnt want you to miss out on something this powerful.

That ME

I love the inner me
The me that allows me to be free
that sees when im in need
or even the me thats scared to be me
yeah, thats the me that i love

you see, i used to hate that me
That me that i was afraid to see
in the mirror,and even in front of others
who i thought wouldnt accept me
if i wasnt just another
whats that just another?

That "just another" is another nobody
another someone that is easily influenced
another nobody that made stupid decisions and compromises
situtations that i allowed me, and only me to get into
Oh yeah, thats that me, that until recently i was afraid to see

I cant take back that me,
oh how i wish that i could
trust it wouldnt do any good
That me made me into who i am today
full and free, oh yes happy indeed

And everytime i feel that me coming on
i am reminded of the hurt, pain, scars, and the rain
I am reminded of that night, that night that my life change
I am reminded of that 2 shots of hennesy and one shot of patrone and BLACK OUT

Yup i remember that me that woke up with 3 dudes on top of me
the me the doctors told yes ma'am your negative
NEGATIVE, absolutely not positive, yes thats that me

That me that was able to escape her worst fears
That me that checked negative on std all tests
whew that me got lucky

but this is a new me
no more scares on what could be
I have taken the worst me possible
now its time to be the best me
that INNER me, the me that i love
and the me that loves me

YES i am me
inside and out
Im all about me

What is a whore?

What makes a whore? Who is a whore? Why do we call people (females) whores? And what is the difference between a whore, hoe, tramp, and slut? These are questions I ask myself, and everyone else around me, and still havent been able to get a set response from anyone. I mean the "mutual" definition that i got when i asked around...was a "girl who has sex with everybody". Now that leads to more questions i have no answers to...so a guy cant be a whore? And to say everybody, is an infinitive word, because no one can possibly sleep with everyone. Maybe a lot but not everyone. Anyways So i ask, what is the highest number does a "girl's sexual encounters" get to before she is considered a whore? when i asked around, people said 10, or if you cant count on your hands, or if you cant remember, that makes you a whore. WOW, who put the definition on that? And why if a guy has sex with a lot of females preferably 10 or more, he is considered a pimp, or a playa, but not a whore. Thats sort of a double standard dont you think? And so what makes us think its ok to call people whores? I mean why cant the person just like to have sex, with different people. Seems like we have put a label on everything, without putting any actual definiton behind it. We shout out names, and dont really know or understand what they mean. Even though we dont have our own decisions, or intakes on situations, we still need to have an understanding about the things that come out of our mouth. So anywho, if anyone can answer these questions for me i would appreciate it, because i am not coming up with any answers.

OBAMA BABY

So i am sure of you have heard of the election, and that BARACK OBAMA has been elected President. Is this not a beautiful thing? It is history and i am proud to be apart of it. However i was very disappointed in a school that i used to attend, and reading there profile statuses to see how immature they were being about this election. Did i mention this is a "Christian School" founded under the late Jerry Falwell. so i decided to confront them on their behavior. And this is what i said. "I am not directing this note to anyone imparticular, however YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE...As you all are aware BARACK OBAMA was elected President. And to read some of the statuses SOME of you "Christian Liberty Students" put up is just sad. Im confused of how yall profess to love Christ and yet upset and act hateful because you were OUTVOTED...in case you didnt know MAJORITY RULES...Thats Pitiful. I do not attend Liberty anymore, but of course i heard it through the grapevine that you all couldnt even recognize the President elect in today's convocation...WHERE IS THE GOD IN THAT??? And you call yourself a Christian??? Well if thats how they act, I wouldnt want to be a Christian or even Christ like. You have people here that NEVER, thought they would live to see an African American as President, AND THEY DID...ITs not about the color of his skin, BUT YOU ALL SHOULD BE GLAD TO EXPERIENCE HISTORY...i dont know about you, but last night i watched my grandmother of 70 cry in my arms, because she was soooooo happy that she was able to live to see this day. She looked at me and said, this should prove that there isnt ANYTHING you cant achieve...YOU CAN EVEN BE PRESIDENT...and i couldnt do anything but say YES I CAN, after all that, I really can be whatever i want...God allows things to happen for a reason, and believe it or not THIS WAS IN HIS WILL...are you QUESTIONING GOD????hmmmm....what does that say about your faith? Are you telling God he made a mistake, and the wrong candidate was elected President??? If so, then you need to fall on your knees and ask God why is it that YOU DOUBT HIM???? Anywho, if you wana comment feel free...in the mean time, BARACK OBAMA is YOUR PRESIDENT...WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT HE WILL BE LEADING THIS COUNTRY...IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT...I HEARD FRANCE WAS A GREAT PLACE TO LIVE...HIT THEM UP!!!"

Jennifer Hudson and Family

I am sure most of you have heard the news about Jennifer Hudson, and her family. Officials say the mother darnell donnerson, and brother Jason Hudson, were found in there Chicago home in Englewood, IL shot and killed. The search was out for the little boy Julian King, mother of Julia hudson, and nephew of Jennifer hudson. He was found Monday morning in the back of the White suburban SUV, that police said they have been looking for the entire weekend. Julian King was later identified as the boy in the back of the truck shot and killed. Investigators are trying there hardest to stay on this case, until they get to the bottom of it, and find who may have done this. I am at a lost for words when it comes to this topic, because i cant seem to grasp how someone could have so much hate in there heart to do this to a mother, brother, and son. My mind cannot fathom how Jennfier or Sister may be feeling. What I do know is now is the time that to depend on God and rely on his plan in all of this tragedy thats around her family. When I heard the news, I was quickly to pick up the phone and call my mother, father and grandmother and tell them how much that I love them, and appreciated them. We do not know the day nor hour, God will call us to be home, which is why we should live everyday like its our last. We should cherish our time with our families and never part one another angry. Because you never know when the last time you will see them. My thoughts and prayers are with the hudson family, and i pray God will give them strength to get through this awful tragedy

Well i have been bragging that I love to sing and music is my life, so i figured i'd just make this blog about me doing what i love to do...hope you enjoy

Comfortable With Myself

I used to be the type that always found something wrong with myself and my look. I used to nitpick at little things that I only notice. Sometimes I would go as far as trying to cover my flaws up I woulod literallyhide myself behind any and everything i can. I am glad to know that was just a phase, because i embrace my flaws. I take whatever that makes me akward i turn it into beauty. I am comfortable with myself, I am proud of my look and my flaws. So I just felt that i would motivate myself this morning. i am going to have a wonderful day. God is the only judge and control over my life. I put my trust in him, and fear no one else. I LOVE myself!!!

Friendship

I must say that I have some of the best friends in the world. They make me laugh, cheer me up when im down, and always make themselves available when i need someone to talk to. Its crazy how much we will fight with one another and fight for one another. We are like family, and even closer like sisters. I am thankful for them because they keep me grounded in this crazy school we call an HBCU, and make sure I am always focused and staying on the right track. Their is never a day i regret my friendship with them. I dont take it for granted because there are a lot of people that never get to experience good friendship, rather one bad friendship after another. From sitting in the house watching youtube videos, to taking a trip to the beach for a weekend, maybe even going on a shopping spree we know how to have fun, and just do what friends do. Sex and the City thought they were the best of friends, and no one could ever compare to their friendship, but I am determined to challenge them because we are the best of friends and more. I love them and I appreciate them. My SENSATIONALS.....FOR LIFE!

Forgiveness

Anybody ever have regrets? You know like wishing you could take back something you did, or said. I try to go through life not having one single regret. I try to accepts my faults, and always remind myself that my "mess ups" are what make me who I am. I can forgive someone if they lie, if they steal from me, even if they "cheat on me". But their is one thing i wont tolerate. And that is someone attacking my character, and picks out my flaws, and my mistakes and then try to hold them against me. I will admit I am not a saint. And I mess up every day. but to have someone point it out, and ridicule me for my mistake is a hurt that i will never get over. Its even worse when your own family doesnt let you live your mistake down. When everytime you see that person, they remind you of how bad of a person you are. Man it hurts even more when that person is your parent. Whom you have disappointed so much, it seems as though the apologies, and sucking up will never make them change their mind. When the conversations you have with them are always hi, how was your day? call me before you go to sleep? and thats all. When you see them you wana embrace them, and tell them you love them, but all you get is a cold shoulder in return. At first Iwas very hurt, and just wanted forgiveness, but now I am angry because its time to FORGIVE and FORGET. Understand that I am NOT perfect, and I do make mistakes, and hope that LOVE can conquer all, and we can get past this. But who knows? Ill just keep praying to mend the relatioinship we had. And love you even harder.

Fear

Its about 7am and i have been awake since 3am. I cant sleep. These last few weeks have emotionally, physically, and mentally drained me. So now that I have a little free time, I am feeling the aftermath. I have a lot to say but sometimes I dont know how to word it, so I just keep typing until it comes out. Usually when i am up this early its because I have a lot on my mind that I just need to get out. so WHAT AM I FEELING? For 1, im feeling sickness, like i havent been eating in a long time sick. #2 overwhelmed (u know that feeling you get when you have a lot to do in so little time?)#3 The most important FEAR. Its like, my evil twin. There is a lot that i fear just because of who I am. I am mostly fearful of my future, and actually living out my dream. I fear that everyone else will go on to do what they want in life, and I will be stuck working a 9-5 everyday. Im not an ordinary person, so I dont expect to live an ordinary life. I am the type of person that would love to tour city after city, promoting my music. But the scary part is, I am almost there, I mean I am so close I can taste it. But in all that, im still scared! Whoever would have thought your future could be so scary? I sure didnt. But now that I am practically living my future i am more fearful and unsure then ive ever been in my life. I know I dont look like the type but i cry almost everyday. Its suppose to be a cleansing, but instead its just another cry. I hope I can shake this feeling, and fast, because whether im scared or confident, their's no turning back. I am trying to stand up to fear, but right now whatever i do is just not working...any suggestions??? For now, ill just keep living for today, and hoping for a better tomorrow than the day before. Im out!

Music within

I cant explain this feeling that i feel,
I speak it, i breathe it, i wish i could even eat it
MUSIC...did you hear me ?????MUSIC!!!!


Its the greatest gift God has given to me
Of course most of us like to listen to it. Some of us even like to sing it. but my love for Music goes way beyond that. It is my outlet when i have things on my mind. The gift to write, sing, play and compose is something that makes music even more wonderful to me. So, here is a little clip of what i do in ny spare time. Dont try to act like yall dont do it, cuz i seen a lot of yall on youtube tryna get yall big break!!!LOL Enjoy




http://www.new.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=31879455075&ref=share

A Hurting heart

Why do I continue to love you so much?
Why do you abuse me without one single touch?
Why do I sit here and believe the lies you feed me?
Why did I believe you and i were a guarentee?

I cant do this no more, put myself through hell
Its like you have this hold over me, with castin one single spell
I should have listened to my mama when she told me you were not the one
But it was my stupid a$$ thinking that we would neva be done

But Im through
I have to get over you
my heart cant take it no more
You were the one that i adore

I pray every night that God would heal my broken heart
That maybe you and I could have a fresh start
But HELL NO! I will not go through this
I will not stand around looking stupid, in a bliss

I am taking a stand once and for all
I am gonna stand proud, and stand tall
I will rise to the top
and even though you think i will, I WONT STOP!!!